Inner Cookie Monster

I am the first person to come out and say that I love desserts. Honestly, if you say you don't you're lying to yourself. For some reason though I think my dessert/sweet craving can also include fast food. So basically I like things that aren't good for me.

The other night we'd gotten home later than normal and the girls didn't get to bed until almost 10. Then we realized that we needed to return a library book or we'd get a fee. The Husband had already showered and gotten into pajamas so it was up to me to put my shoes back on and drive the book to the book drop at the library. I wasn't too happy about having to leave. I was tired and wanted to just sit down for a while and read a book. But I think it's dumb to pay for a library book so I went.

As soon as I walked out the door I was immediately thinking about what junk food I could go get. A donut at Macey's? An ice cream cone from McDonald's? A candy bar at a gas station? It honestly took all the will power I had not to stop somewhere and get something bad for me, but tasty, to eat. 1. It was too late to be eating. 2. I had already finished the calories I was allowed to eat for the day. 3. I don't need junk food, I'm trying to lose weight! I kept repeating these reasons over and over in my head trying to battle with the other part of me that just wanted to give in and stress eat. But I didn't.

I've come to the conclusion that I stress eat. That night we had taken J to the Kid's Care to get medication for Pinkeye. We'd had colds for weeks and it all escalated. And the same thing happened as soon as I knew we were leaving the house to go to the Doctor, I wanted to stop and get fast food for dinner. Chocolate is an obviously stress food for me but fast food is too.

I have days that I don't struggle with making the right choices at all. Then there are other days...like MOST of this WEEK that I am fighting every single minute of the day not to shove cookies down my throat or chow down on an entire bag of chocolate chips.


I'm not sure how to combat all of those impulses I have. It's unrealistic to say I'll never have fast food again. But why is it that I want it every time I leave the house for a longer period of time?

It honestly was so hard and this week has been hard every day because of those cravings. But just like cookie monster, I'm trading in those cookies for veggies. See what I did there? :) Not gonna lie to you though, it sucks.