Bit of a Break

I think I've posted before about how I want my mind set to change. There are a lot of times that I forget that I've lost weight and remember how unhappy I was being so overweight. Today was one of those days for me.

I attend a turbo kick class at a community health center. I absolutely love turbo kick. It is my favorite class that I go to every week and I love that it falls on tuesday nights so that after I sweat a ton I can go weigh-in. But the past 2 weeks I've had a hard time in the class. Its been difficult not because of the workout and how well I'm able to do it...but because of how I feel about the way I look. The class is a lot of jumping/dancing/kicking and we do it in front of a wall of mirrors. I realize that I have lost weight and I look about a million times better than I used to but while watching myself in those mirrors all I could think about was how fat I looked. Instead of feeling proud of myself for being able to do the entire 55 minutes of cardio without needing a break, I'm embarrassed because of how my body looks. I realize that a lot of the other women in the class and at the gym in general are probably more concerned with their own body image than looking at me but it doesn't make me any less self-conscious.

So tonight I came home and weighed-in and I had gained 3 lbs. After the Half Marathon on saturday we had a big birthday party for both of our girls. And then I proceeded to relax and eat poorly for the rest of the weekend. Not surprising that I gained weight. However, I did not need to see that number after already feeling fat at my class.

I have decided to take a break from the scale. I am going to continue to count calories and to exercise and do everything how I have been but I am not going to have an official weigh-in for a couple of weeks. I want to concentrate on the way my body feels and the way my clothes fit instead of a number. I want to feel good about myself and not judge my happiness level based on what that scale says every hour. I need to find the peace in being healthy and fit not just being a certain weight.

I will continue to post about my trials and successes so I hope you all continue to read, support and share your stories with me too. This is not at all the end for me and not me giving up either. This is me trying a new technique for a little while.